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13 February 2006

bimmy and jimmy get crunked

bonus points if you know what that post title refers to.

so i was going to write about my weekend. but then i sat down and realized that as many hours as i spent awake when i shouldn't have been during it and as stupid as it was to drive to providence on the eve of the nor'easter to end all nor'easters just to spend about 18 hours there hanging out and then drive back to new york in a whiteout, there's really not that much interesting stuff to talk about. but i'll give it a shot anyway because i'm bored and we'll see how it goes.

friday night i went out with a few people and we ended up at niagra on the lower east side dancing to 80's rock with girls who we would later come to learn were 19 years old (sneaky) until around 4:30 when one of them made quite a mess of the men's room (ladies room was ocupado). don't you raise your eyebrows at me. i was a perfect gentleman. and that's the truth. i ended up that night on the extra bed at my friend john's place. that bed has recently been named the mikey memorial suite because i sleep there so often. thank god for friends who don't love privacy as much as i do. estimated bedtime: 5:30.

wake up the next day at 10am and begin preparations for the trek to providence. here's the plan: i drive to westport, ct, where john's car is. i don't want to drive li'l rhody with the forecast being what it is, but he doesn't mind doing it. that is, until we get there and he has about 5,000 panic attacks about what to do with his car during a city-wide emergency parking ban. arrive in providence around 4pm. make some phone calls, have some drinks, do some dinner. have very very many more drinks.

(2 new discoveries. double dragon ale is one of them. i think i took a picture but i can't find it. it's welsh, and has nothing to do with the video game, but it's still called double dragon and we still had a hearty chuckle about it. invented a hypothetical 'bad dudes' ale. the president has been kidnapped by ninjas. are you a bad enough dude to drink this beer? the other discovery was something i already forget the name of but it was branded "the premier chai liqueur" and you can google it if you want. it was pretty delish. have i mentioned i've started drinking instant chai lattes at work instead of instant coffee? it's all a part of my plan to be mistaken for gay even more often than i already am.)

where were we? oh yeah. john got a bartender's number. she said she's a lesbian though. but he still got it. does that count? i'm gonna give it to him. even though she rocked cornrows. estimated bedtime: 3:30am. remember, providence closes at 2am.

wake up at 9am. absolute shitstorm outside. well, snowstorm really. but a mess. radio says it's not supposed to stop until 8pm. our plan originally had been to wait it out and then brave the roads once it stopped snowing, but that wasn't going to work at all considering we still had about 10 hours of snowfall and there were already more than 6 inches on the ground. we decided to go for it. you're shaking your head. me too. but what's done is done and there's no use second guessing now.

here's my biggest heartbreak of the weekend: all i really wanted to do in providence, more than anything else in the whole world, was to get some new york system hot weiners. you may be scratching your head now, since i live in new york. but they don't have them in new york. it's really just a misnomer. but they're called new york system hot weiners and you can only get them in providence. read up on them if you like. they're my favorite thing ever and we tried to get them on sunday but all the places were closed due to the blizzard. god damn.

the drive itself was pretty white-knuckled but nothing actually happened so there's not much to tell. it took us about 3.5 hours to get to westport from providence. my car was majorly snowed in but i managed to bust it out. i drive a '97 cherokee that has no air conditioning and doors that whistle when you go fast so you have to turn up the music really loud (and the stereo sucks) but when a blizzard hits, there's no car i'd rather have. i'll probably give it a nickname. (hah).

this morning i woke up to my car being plowed in so badly that i couldn't even open the doors. after i managed to get it cleared out the night before. that really sucked. especially since i broke my snow shovel last year when we had a blizzard. and i was on a hill. so i dug out for 45 minutes today with nothing but my shit-kicker boots and 4wd. a lot of people in my neighborhood don't speak english but when they walked by this morning i could read the international "what a peon" look on their disapproving faces. whatever. i got out.

i think i may already have written a thousand words here so i probably don't need a picture but here's one anyway of some crazy guy on wickenden street in providence wearing shorts in a blizzard.


  1. A blizzard! I have been soooo busy with work and being sick that I didn't even know you were in a blizzard. I actually thought about you the other day, and there was no blizzard in the background when I was seeing you in my head, so it must be an optical illusion you are experiencing :-) hehe

  2. bimmy and jimmy is a typo in double dragon 3