the shower scene

a few days ago my friend chris sent me a link to another youtube video of a giant centipede in action. write one song about centipedes and you're branded for life as the centipede guy. too bad i didn't write a song about hot fudge sundaes. anyway. this one wasn't as awful as the last one because it spared the gore, but it still was enough to give me nightmares. in this one, the thing just pulls a son-of-a-bitch fruit bat out of the goddamn sky. a flying creature! is there nothing grosser in the world.

this morning i pulled back the shower curtain after a nice shower. and i grabbed my towel and i started working on my flowing locks. and i felt something on my leg. could just be a water drip. but it was moving up. water drops don't move up. so instinctively, before i even looked down, i jerked my leg to jaunce whatever evil-incarnate was traversing my limb. and then i saw him, flying from my leg, out of the tub, and onto the bathroom floor. he hit the ground running and was gone in a flash. but it was unmistakable. that was a centipede. boy howdy. straight out of the nightmares i've been having since i watched the video. only smaller.

we meet again, old friend. not if i see you first.

in other news, i'm dropping the axe on "doctor, these headaches." it will not be on the record. because i haven't even started it yet and i'm still not sure how it's going to go and because thematically it'll fit better with the newer stuff i've been writing anyway. so it's not disappearing, it's just going back into the incubator. that leaves one song to finish before i can say this record is done and just wash my hands of it. and it's close, friends. oh so very close. and it's about time, since i just realized i started talking about it over a year ago.

music music everywhere

tonight i encoded and tonight i coded and now you can download almost all the songs from the record and a couple old demos right from the music section on this here site. just click the song titles as if you wanted to read the lyrics (i know you do) and if it says "download mp3" there then guess what, you can download it. right click and save as... you know the drill.

please feel free to give these to anyone and everyone. share them on your illegal filesharing software (you criminal). seriously though. do whatever you want with them.

oh what a site

as promised, i dropped some fat stacks of paper today and purchased some hosting services from godaddy.com (sex sells, man) and spent a bunch of time updating some page names and moving this whole site over to its new home. it's my hope that you won't notice anything different on your end, but in the event you notice a link that's broken or something, please let me know.

what i'm able to do now is put up files for you to download right off this site instead of sending you all over god's green intarweb to get songs. so keep your eye on the music section over the next couple days as i update that.

and now that there's no domain forwarding and masking, in the unlikely event that you're compelled to link your friends here, you can send them exactly where you think they should go without needing a computer science degree.

oh and holy crap. custom 404 page ftw. totally worth every penny.

**update: that search bar won't work for a while until google re-indexes my ass.**

i custom made your suit

so my little brother sean moved in with me this weekend. it's a tradeoff of privacy for company, but so far it's going really well. of course, i'm the one who sleeps on a bed every night and he gets something only slightly better than a dungeon floor. so maybe he'll tell you sometime how it's going from his perspective.

we played a lot of guitar together the other night. and he dropped my deodorant in the toilet and then cleaned it off and didn't tell me so this morning when i took the cap off it i spilled deodorant scented blue potty water all over my just-showered self. which i think we all can agree is pretty funny.

also, my first ever monetary compensation for this music should be en route to my apartment as i type to ye. details to follow if you're interested, but i've already earmarked the modest sum to improve this site. so hopefully soon i'll be able to host all the mp3's right here instead of having to rotate them on murdochspace and purevolume.

rob the jewelry store and tell them to make me a grill

strange how out of place it feels to me now to talk about my music on here. i hope you'll indulge.

i've been doing a lot of thinking and not a lot of doing on the record lately, but i've decided that "the loudest man on the laugh track" is fine how it is for what it was, and instead of redoing it all and putting it on the record, i'm just going to make it available permanently in its demo form and if you like that song you can download it from purevolume shortly. along with the "ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." demo, which has been available forever.

and then there were seven. sometimes i think i'll never finish this thing. other times i know it. but i am determined.

a lot in my life, musically and otherwise, is changing soon.

is not chicago

a funny thing that i still haven't gotten used to about business trips is the way that even though you're staying in the same hotel as everyone you work with and you're spending all day with them at the convention center when the bell rings and yabbadabbadoo and all that you're on your own, buddy. you find your own way back to the hotel and you find someone to go have dinner with because we're with clients. there's absolutely no malice in it. it's just what we do. we, for the most part, are not friends. we are colleagues and we work well together and then we go our separate ways until when early in the morning the factory whistle blows.

so you sit on the shuttle bus and you see things out the window that look nice and you wish you were in this town for enough time to see anything besides your sweet hotel and the totally unsweetened conference center. like restaurants and theaters and bars and parks and commuter trains. i like life. i want to see what life is like here. but i bet i never will. and i definitely won't on this trip. because tomorrow i get on a plane all alone. everyone else left today. for some reason they left me here tonight to fend for myself so i went to dinner with someone from another company who also was leftover. friend for a night. this was lovely. my pork chop was amazing. thanks for letting me taste your chicken. we'll be in touch. right?

business trips are funny things.

is chicago

so i'm in chicago now. it seems like i'm never home anymore. although i guess after this trip i have no more scheduled for a decently long time. i can't remember the last weekend i've had to just spend in new york. i'm really looking forward to doing that soon. holiday cocktail lounge here i come.

i wanted to write about airplanes and airports and the people that you hear talking to other people and the ridiculous kinda shit they say like bragging about being a republican to a total stranger and saying that global warming is hogwash and you're lucky i didn't pour my cranberry juice on you you loudmouthed ignoramus i don't care what you read in your book club. but i won't because i just did, i suppose.

chicago is a really nice city. even when it's hot as hell out, it's cold by the lake. i don't know if i could ever see myself living here, but i can't think of a good reason why not. the people seem nice. the airport, however, is not my favorite.

you know what's funny (to move in a totally different direction)? it's funny how predictable i've become to myself. and to everyone else. it seems like almost every day someone gets to say they told me so. everyone is a nostradamus. everyone sees everything coming. mikey is going to do this and then that will happen and then he'll react thusly. and even though i see it too i can't seem to make it any different. like watching a movie and hoping that this time the good guy won't die even though you've seen it before and you know he's going to and you know how.

i watch movies i've already seen all the time.