Neither of those are the reasons I sat down to type this update, though. I got motivated to say "hello" again because I just found evidence of one of the greatest feats I've ever accomplished, and I wanted to post it here before I lose it again:
One day in 2006, I went to Laser Quest with my family and played three games. AND I CAME IN FIRST PLACE ALL THREE TIMES. I am a laser tag master. Read 'em and weep.